In some ways it’s like back to being in my twenties. I don’t think those in their twenties realize how very young that truly is.
Back when I thought I could change the world, back when each step mattered, that this man would be the one for the rest of my life.
There is no rest-of-your-life. There is just life in all its meandering painful surprising ebb and flow. There are things that may not be undone, but those things can be made up for. Bad can become better – or ditched entirely. Some people disappear; some you bury; some stay. That is no small bit of wisdom I didn’t have back then.
But today I wonder if I can still change the world? If I could take a step that mattered? If I could yet meet a man that would stay?
I do not add “the rest-of-my-life”. That went away with a man that didn’t stay.
They are about to start the next phase. They are going to get that job, meet that spouse (god and law willing). I’m with them, wondering about that next unsteady listing step.
