March 18, 2004
Before dawn
Gabriel talks in his sleep. "Mommy!" He looks annoyed. I turn to face him and stroke his forehead until the furrows go away. He makes smacking sounds for a bit. Then quietly, "Goggy, woof, woof." He rolls over, goes back to sleep.
3:30 A.M.
Downstairs to do something since sleep escapes me. A glass of water, and a seat in the dark. This is what it'll be like. Quiet. Me, alone in the dark.
In the daylight it's easy to focus on things like movies undisturbed, going out, looking at the dawn over some tea. Cleaning up after myself - and only myself.
There's laundry on the couch. I pick up a stack, I think Aidan's, and deposit it next to his dresser. The ritual: put his feet back under the covers. Kiss. Pull the quilt over Connor's shoulder. Another kiss and back to my own bed to hold Gabriel like some child toy. And one more kiss because three time's the charm.
Posted by weez at March 18, 2004 06:50 AM | TrackBackAh, the tucking in of the feet. I tuck the consort's feet back under the convers every morning and watch his face relax just that little bit more... also the stroking out of the furrows.
It's nice, the things we can do for those we love while they sleep.
Hm... another insomniac. Hard when that brain of yours gets in the way isn't it?
Dads an insomniac too, but he doesn't tuck in my feet anymore. Oh well, one of the downfalls of growing up I guess.
Posted by: Amy at March 18, 2004 10:55 AMHow do you know? :)
Posted by: weez at March 18, 2004 11:04 AMIf he did, that would imply I'm in bed... but I too am an insomniac. One of those things that runs in the family.
Posted by: Amy at March 18, 2004 04:47 PMeli and ethan have started to cover me up with blankets and kiss me goodnight at their bedtime.
pure contentment.
Posted by: seester at March 18, 2004 06:59 PMThe image of the glass of water and the meditative mood of this entry made me think of water gazing. Luisah Teish suggests that the practice of water gazing is conducive to the sweet silences where one can use an ancestor altar for meditative purposes. (1985 _Jambalaya: The Natural Woman's Book of Personal Charms and Practical Rituals_ p. 95)
I wonder if water gazing is good for giving one a sense of able to be attentive, of being interested, of being interesting (the worthy focus of the water staring back). Does it give one energy so that shmoozing over diner as record June 23, 2003, becomes smoother and less draining. http://weez.oyzon.com/archives/000018.html Is it a cultural thing to constantly gab. What about those lulls with or without eye contact or any sort of looking where folks can sit in silence and enjoy each others company? How do some cultures make the pauses count while shmoozing?
Is there not a repetoire of gestures that bring the invitation to contemplate? Yes, it's the invitation to aesthetic observation. Look. Do you see? Listen. Do you hear? Touch. Do you feel?
You can invent the variations. Shmooz can mean to exchange ways of perceiving the world. A process that leaves one not untired but surely could leave one refreshed dawn till dusk and through a rest period of dreams. mind enspirits body and body enlivens mind. yes three times a charm. and more.
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