editing life: closing chapters

Tita Do passed away last week. At a grand age of 93. She was dad’s oldest sister. When dad was in his teens, he lived with her in California. Crazy. It’s like Benny…and Elice…and Elaine with Curt…they all stayed with me for a time while getting their wings ready to take off. Her hand is in everything through her kids and my cousins, through my dad to us. Here is …

outside the center

I’m sleeping with mom. She went to bed before me and I left her there. I check to make sure she is still breathing. I’m doing that thing.  We all are doing it. I think this may be the longest time she’s been able to sleep in days. I left her there. Get some rest. I smell coffee and hear the sneeze. Great! Dad’s making the coffee. I hear the shuffling in …

Family

Watching sympathy and celebration unfold in pictures and stories, in nods of acknowledgement and words of support. It’s mostly love. All of it really. Cousins I don’t know. Nephews and nieces. Far flung family. All all all our friends that my parents have welcomed into our home. Family.

No Mr. Darcy

– Pride and Prejudice by sprspr on DeviantArt The not-getting not quite unrequited is a sweet state. Jane Austen. Because it works out in the end despite all the tiny drama and miscommunications. Sucker for that stuff. I have someone now. Part of me still fights it — this different than the arrogant, distant, oh-so-ready to leave and I’m-not-really-here type that have been my script. Mr. Darcy was only icy …

when cracks open wide

“What is this?” “I swear, I haven’t used. Not since you caught me months ago that second time.” And I looked into his face. And I could see the boy who was mine and isn’t now. All that innocence that used to be. “You lied to my face. I want to believe you. And you might be telling the truth, but I don’t trust you and that bums me out.” …

right here right now

Been missing that daily thing. A year from now I may wonder what was happening in the interstices. Chris and Erin got married. That was a big deal. At work there are a tremendous amount of things going on, of which I am mostly uncaring. There is sleep and frustration about tangible things that are happening and not happening with my body…but all of it pretty much on time for …