remembering

Aidan is asleep. He’s on college time. The other two are with their dad. It’s his time. I’ve installed the ceiling. Looks good. Stained the crown moulding. Doing it all. Stained the shelving. Long overdue. I cleaned and repaired the espresso machine; attempted the same with the waffle iron – but that’s hopeless. It’s a frantic busyness. There’s been a lot of that. Just keep swimming – just keep swimming …

I don’t need to walk around in

There’s this story in a book about zen teachings. The story goes some dude argued that his appearance and behavior didn’t matter so much because his inner self was good. The other stuff was just surface. The teacher offers him a fine wine, and he enthusiastically says he would happily take some. The teacher brings out the wine in a jar (one that functions like a bedpan/urinal in that country). …

No. Let’s do that again.

Just start typing. Enough of this thinking. Waking up to a whirring mind is not optimal.  It would have been better to do a lazy turn and smile at my lover’s sleeping form. I would have taken being licked awake by Ripley. The intellect is resentful of this intrusion of work in my home. “Hi. What do you guys want?” Noot and Ripley are watching me type. Maybe they’re trying …

cleaning house

Every once and a while it is time to clean all the things. Part of it is leaving mom and dad’s place and seeing all the memory laden things there. Mom is talking selling the house in time. It’s okay, they are only things. We have memory enough. Makes my own place feel h e a v y. Too much. Still purging and rearranging.

21

21 days to make something a habit. Game on. Stretches the hand; rubs the wrist. Nothing there to limber one’s mind. The going answer to “How are you?” has been, “Creaky.” Everything. All the joints. Thoughts skip like a scratched record. (Do they know what that sounds like? Have they ever touched one? Played one?) It’s noise. White noise. Fits with the snow and freakin’ brrrr. They’re related, I’m sure. …

cleaning house

Right. Tabla rasa.  New Year. Figure out the title after I figure out what I’m doing. But then again, that’s a bit of life right there, isn’t it? Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone… Christmas was good. I mean, it really was great to hang out with my brother and sisters. We had a video chat with Beau and met …