I’ll take a sleeping pill, please

Yesterday was a mess.

A

B

Here is a bunch of two and three hour bits of fitful sleep. (As in full of fits, not as in would-be-fit-as-a-fiddle-if-you-got-one-of-these). Here is a generic ambien induced straight eight hours of maybe-snoring-maybe-muttering-but-I-didn’t-gain-consciousness-so-I-don’t-care.

Having seen the two, I will take B any day.

Stuff happened. As I told Sela, “The how-does-all-this-work is a crazy state of being, isn’t it? I keep getting sideswiped by how not automatic simple things are.” (That was this morning. Not sure that I could have formed that coherent a sentence yesterday).

The nonautomatic-ness of walking and standing takes quite a bit of brain energy. Again, the disconnect between body and head. The muscles are fine. I am not a frail thing. In fact, my mom would probably describe me as “healthy”. This means I could stand to lose a few pounds. (Hi, mom. So glad you are still here to take care of me).

The lack of sleep was enough to take me back several days to really awkward. (I am now throwing in an aside just because there seem to be a lot of parentheticals here).

I was exhausted on the ride back from the grocery store. Wegmans had been a crazy ordeal of sensation. Leaned heavily on the cart for support. Got the pretzel rolls though. (OMG, delicious, and dairy free so they won’t kill my chauffeur/friend). “Why am I like this?”, a frustrated dump.

Cody says, “I dunno, maybe it’s because you had a stroke?”

I keep forgetting. It hasn’t been two weeks even. Probably should chill. Maybe remember that I really am not back. Not really.

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