ENTRY # 27 At the core are the things we dont even know we have – regrets, desires and fears that move us when the grown up isnt paying attention.
Whose got the key to the id? One person, maybe two, maybe you…if circumstances are right, tumblers align, and the trust is great enough. (Not me. Who knows their Self?)
But my idkeeper says, “Tell me…” And in a moment, with the adult absent, the truth burbles out, and ambushes the speaker. So, deep down, life isnt always good. Good guys do sometimes finish last. Justice isnt the norm, and right thinking and right doing doesnt necessarily buy squat.
At the core there is disquiet, and a sense of something more that could be, if only one could feed the hunger, be selfish, abandon such nonsense as propriety, responsibility, and niceness. But life is mostly good. And I am surrounded by better than Okay. With so much effort and risk involved to go for that phantasm of Great, what choice is really there? and at what cost? Better to dream and let inertia guide. We who understand know the force is already in motion and will continue to move us in these paths weve chosen. There is no such thing as luck. Where we are is where we have brought ourselves, propelled to this spot, at this moment, shooting on, driven by every choice weve made, and each thing we hold dear. The adult returns to the guard, and there will be no regret for missed opportunities or alternate lives.
Francois Lachance, firstname.lastname@example.org, http://www.chass.utoronto.ca/~lachance/jardin/html/TEIblog.htm, , 220.127.116.11, 1084501470, 2004-05-16 20:41:17, Knock. Knock. Whos there? The “au pair” reader linking a June 30, 2003 entry mentioning idkeepers and keys to a March 12, 2004 entry referencing links to video clips of commercials at turnpike films now available at a site requiring registration (a certain type of key). ELizabeth Grosz on Freud on dreamwork: “the considerations of respresentibility recast the (visual and auditory) memories into the form of linguistic propositons, treating visual elements by verbal techniques. This explains why Freud likens the dream to the rebus, which is a picture representing or expressing a statement. Dream elements are treated like words […] ” from her book on Lacan. See http://weez.oyzon.com/archives/000825.html