The world did not stop without my presence. I find that reassuring. The noise level is low. Tonight is my first night alone since the incident. Well, I had one night between mom and Elaine’s visits. That was a blur. It’s comforting. She drove me to all my classes and even sat in on them attempting to do her own work. In-between we ate decadently…that part of me was …
There is a long list of possible side effects with the sleeping pill/generic ambien thing. Things are listed such as sex, baking, driving, walking, and other verbs…all while asleep. Apparently, I post on facebook and am capable of editing documents. I only know about the editing documents because I looked at the time stamp and it said 4 AM and have no recollection of any of it. This was a …
Hate when you’re sick but you don’t look it. Just tired. Hate the word “just”. Mondays are a bit rough. The teaching until 10pm followed by the 8am class is also a bit of a stretch. Energy level was low. Still is. I can do this. Elaine, “Go to bed. I’ll take care of this.” No argument. Even though I passed the driving hurdle, glad she is here. She drove. …
At this point I’m as normal as I was, except for the need for naps every two to three hours. So this morning Liz picked me up to head to the public market with our dear friend, Sylvie (who happens to be our fabulous WoW guild mistress extraordinaire). I hadn’t met Sylvie in meat space until this past Thursday when a bunch of us went to dinner. That dinner included …
Twenty four twenty four hours ago… 20 minutes to make it under the wire for a daily post. The nurse explained that the sedation wouldn’t necessarily knock me out, but I wouldn’t remember anything. I’m pretty sure I was knocked out. I know I didn’t remember things. Kim took me there for my eight am appointment. She’d been singing the Ramones since yesterday when they called about this appointment. She …
Saw the neurologist this morning. Hold out your hands. I said, “This is fine, but I shoot with this hand.” (I really did.) I also did the follow the finger, stand, sit, close eyes, heel-toe dance. Kept thinking of Young Frankenstein before he put on the Ritz. It was a Mel Brooks kinda mornin’. The doctor said I am now asymptomatic. Balance is good. Tired is normal, he told me …
Is this thing working? Thought (generic)Ambien was supposed to knock me way out. Up at 6:30. Got me through 3 AM. Good enough. Able to turn to see the clock, relieved that what I saw counted as real morning although the light was still purple, I ran through the day before it happened. There is that future imperfect again. More flawed planning of non-existent things. The real thing, my …
Yesterday was a mess. A B Here is a bunch of two and three hour bits of fitful sleep. (As in full of fits, not as in would-be-fit-as-a-fiddle-if-you-got-one-of-these). Here is a generic ambien induced straight eight hours of maybe-snoring-maybe-muttering-but-I-didn’t-gain-consciousness-so-I-don’t-care. Having seen the two, I will take B any day. Stuff happened. As I told Sela, “The how-does-all-this-work is a crazy state of being, isn’t it? I keep getting sideswiped by …
Subject I Past tense conditional could have should have would have then there would be a past tense verb. But what’s weird is that there would be a past tense verb (she whispers, “died”) that never happened. Conjugation is such an odd thing. That there could even be a past tense for a non-occurrence. Future conditional is also an oddity. Conditional may just be a waste of thought. It is …
Superstitiously, I look at the fading bruise on my arm. It doesn’t hurt at all. It looks pretty bad. This is a metaphor for all of it. After each soporific round, I’m better able to navigate from one end of the room to the other. After each round I look at that bruise and see it diminish just a bit. When it is gone, I’ll be able to walk again …
