Home.v.westcoast

When I was eighteen, me, my sister, Elice, and my cousins Karen and Kathy went to spend the Summer in California. The west coast cousins and Titas and Uncles welcomed us as if we’d never left. It was home. There’s  something magical about leaving your awkward teenage identity and arriving in a sunny place where you get to be this person you wanted to be, or who others think you …

Shed It All

Elaine suggests this is what I do. Could I drop pounds, scars and all the bits of effluvia left from when I attempted to excise memory? Joy says I am running backwards in time. I am Benjamin Button. I’ll pass my children into innocence and hope. This is doubtful. There are some things that don’t come back.

like Goldilocks

ENTRY # 2569 I kept waking up and going back to bed until it was right. The first time was around 6 and who knows what monkeys were inhabiting my brain before I opened my eyes, but I woke up crying, Not the sobbing cathartic kind, just a quiet hopeless kind. The dog was concerned. I checked my computer for stories and to see if anything had changed – it …

Hairline Cracks

[ An Audio version of this post. Music by my brother, John Oyzon and narration by me.] Tonight was the annual Cobblestone picnic- a school that Aidan goes to. (Connor starts next year). At the picnic, it’s all about the kids. I watch them take off on their own trajectories. Toddle after the baby. Sit quietly for the most part and observe the goings on. No desire to engage in conversation …

Every Picture Tells a Story Don’t It? (4)

Everyone is the protagonist of their own story. Late night. The soundtrack is jazz horn. Alto sax. Reverb. Thoughtful. Blue light from a monitor in a dim room lights her face. Actually, in my head I’ve got a pretty constant stream of personal soundtrack as I go about my day to day. Most people are bit players, some are the character actors (mostly 1 dimensional fly  throughs), and then there …

So This is It

Like standing on the beach, I test the waters with a toe. How cold? How deep do I go? It is not my wont to opine and bare my soul. Sadness, anger, anxiety- all those things Pandora should have left well alone reside in my own well-locked chest. It’s a filipino thing, I think, to crack a joke, flash a cheesy grin and laughingly (though seriously) consider murder. How seductive …

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