thaw

Stupid cold, as I wait for the car to warm up ice on the windshield cracks and drips. The sun is shining through prismatic drops. I stop for a moment, and the world really is quite beautiful after all.

To Languish

There was a lovely NY Times article that favored the return of the word “languish”. It really is quite lovely as words go. It brings to mind that impotent feeling that would involve some flailing if you could just get the energy to do it. It’s not depression per se, it’s running on fumes. When asked, “How are you?” “Not okay” causes worry. “I’m languishing.” is relatable and if they …

a drop

What is the purpose of posting in social media? Is it the howling of a wolf hoping others will take up the cry? Is it an ask for someone to acknowledge you exist? Are you the tree in the wood that falls? I am a drop that makes an insignificant ripple. Perhaps less than that…which is why I write this here instead of as a fb post or even a …

What Queens teach us

Bingeing, because that’s how I do. While there is no small amount of manufactured and edited for tv drama, ultimately shows of Rupaul (in all its incarnations), Queer Eye, and A Queen is Born are about self-acceptance, otherness, and what beauty can mean. It’s a happy thing and makes me feel if they can love themselves, I should absolutely be able to.

On the Need for Something Real

The day is full of stuff. I think that is the correct noun. Stuff it in, flotsam, detritus, junk, anything and everything. So much needful arbitrariness. Then there are the moments of tangible where the emotion is real. It doesn’t have to be big, just has to go beyond the threshold of stuff-you-have-to-do-to-get-through-the-day. Even that takes discipline. Like slowing down enough to enjoy the ritual of opening the canister, smelling …

joyous

It was a good day. Last full course day of the semester for me, and I can see Summer just a bit away. Teaching 4 courses, all of them on Thursdays. (Tuesdays is just three of them). Final critiques, and they did good. They really did. There were several laugh out loud moments, and some really good souls among them. It’s one of those days that I am glad to …

Inbalance

Write first. Title later. It’s like emotional equilibrium is some spinning top, subject to the least bit of external flotsam. The day is cloudy and dull – it slows the turn. The sun peeks out from behind the clouds – a spirited pirouette. A missed meeting, a note calling to speak but with unnamed intent – it wobbles. There are times when my belief in my stability is unshakable. Not …

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