it’s just a body

Sprang for a massage chair. In the absence of regular sex, this is the best thing ever.

The stroke was three (?) years ago, and since then I’ve had a bunch of problems. Tendonitis of the hip, a lower back vertabrae out of whack (not quite slipped) that’s been pinching a nerve and weakening the leg and additionally causing lower back pain, then there was that hormonal shitstorm called menopause. I think the last thing was the biggest issue.

When preparing for labor those oh-so-many-years-ago, we talked about pain management. Would I be able to deliver without taking the drugs? The doctor explained that was something that couldn’t be answered in advance as one’s pain threshold had a lot to do with whether or not you had enough sleep, emotional state and your level of stress. Granted, having a baby is stressful, but, yeah, all that stuff varied with each delivery.

Post menopause, I’m still having all these varied pains, but my attitude toward it is very different. I can and am taking care of myself. Inversion table is weird, but helps. Chiropractor every other week. Working out again. It’s only been a few days in a row, but like writing in this blog, doing my best to make it a daily thing again…and this massage chair /contented sigh.

I am not broken. Well, I am. But that is something I can mediate or remedy. It’s just my body, after all. My head is on straight.

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