On the constraints of duty

First, I have escaped the house. It wasn’t so dire, it’s just after months living on top of one another and being alone in a crowd, really being alone was necessary. So I am at a hotel and spa with minutes before I go in for a massage. Worth it.

The house takes in strays. A friend of my son’s lived with us a few months last year. Another friend of his moved in a few months ago. No exit plan. But he is now family (as is the other stray). They call me “mom” which is actually quite nice. But it’s another body in a time of COVID.

My ex…we’re still married though haven’t lived together for twenty years. I wanted to make sure he still had insurance. Enabling? Yeah. Duty for the boys’ dad. He suffered an episode a few months ago. More distressing, he had another last month. He shouldn’t be alone, the episode beat him up and the cause is unknown. He quit his job a few weeks before it happened. Cut to the chase – I have another stray. He says he needs a place to stay until May.

Hence my escape.

I was going to write more, but it’s time for a massage. There’s all this feeling warring inside. To be gracious and caring fights with selfishness and the need to protect my space.

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