(how do people type with two thumbs?)

What is a written sketch? A verbal doodle?

Another evening where I take myself out for dollar oysters. My musings are my companion. Good thing she’s in a good mood.

Pretty sure the bloody Mary mix is fresh pureed tomatoes, Worcester, fresh cracked black peppercorns. It’s kinda stunning. (More info… Balsamic vinegar, cumin, ancho, and sumac? What’s sumac?) He made it Sunday for brunch and it’s had time to meld.

The nice thing about taking yourself for a date is that you lead the conversation flow.

We’ve been talking, me and I…

It is good to remember that I am happy by myself; that I am complete by myself. And that should be the starting point of any relationship. 

That it is not that I am less than without

But that I am more with

Did that make sense?

It was a frightening thing when I felt I was to be responsible for another’s happiness. Conversely, no other should have that burden of me. Remember that, shithead. (Wow, I can be brutal).

So. Right. Now…

I’m good.

Me. Myself and I.

We would like to leave the bar and howl, make rude gestures, and then run into the cold lake. More likely, we’ll pay our bill and hit the cupcake place and head on home to grade.

Still, a pretty good night.

Eight oysters, a salad, duck fat fries, and now a cucumber mule.

I can confide in you (me)… Should I hook up? Am I even capable of it now? Does sex have to mean anything more than banging bits?

I may actually need a friend to discuss this with. (Sorry, myself and I.)

I’ll ask Doug. He’s in the thick of dating land.

Or I ask the guy, “I don’t see this going anywhere, but your kisses are delicious. Would you mind helping me move on? So the last touch isn’t his? So I can dream of something else?”

But that feels wrong. I’d be using him. Is it okay if he doesn’t mind? Will I feel… What? What will I feel?

I remind myself (she’s good that way, she has my back) it’s okay to be alone.

I feel that Asian blush.

It’s a lovely evening. I’ll walk around until the blush fades and I feel a competent driver.

Thanks for the date. I’ll take the check. No. Seriously. It’s on me.

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