If I grow up

I’m gonna be an award winning animator and body builder (not a competitive one) . Summer goals: finish the script and storyboard rehab my ankle get back to being able to bench press 3 sets at 50 pounds lose an inch around my waist These are things under my control. In this way, one fights entropy. I was starting think and feel that I was old and broken. I am neither. …

people are hard

Relationships in general are bound to have friction. I’m trying this thing where I’m not quitting on a friendship. It’s work, and it is a commitment in its own way. I haven’t been good at it. Not sure I have the skills, so am kinda flying blind. Sometimes it’s very hard. Sometimes it still brings me joy. With some people it wasn’t worth the effort, but this is. Yes.

pot stirred and stoppered

There’s probably a word for this feeling in some other language. This feeling of emotion built up and stuck. “Uptight?” Nope. It’s like a pressure cooker. Last night was fitful sleep…as in I kept having fits. At one point I was certain I was being held by the shadow of a man. I couldn’t turn; couldn’t move. I told myself to wake up; that this couldn’t be real. It took …

an uncertain equilibrium

Imagine a three foot wide walkway suspended at a great height. It’s solid. But you can see over the edge the potential for a great fall. You’re in no danger, other than your own body threatening to trip you up. There’s nothing particularly interesting that you can see ahead, there’s no going backwards, and this spot is already well explored. (There is just the slate slab and joint.) That’s what …

whatcha whatcha wan’?

What to do if/when I grow up? The boys are at a point where I am not so necessary to them. They can take care of themselves. So the “mother” role is changing. My day to workaday day is fairly set. There are things to do and learn, but I don’t imagine myself leaving my professor role. This is it. What to do next? Who to do next? How to …

key frames

So in the same way one sets up the key frames and then figure out the tweens, pacing, ease-in and out, so can the narrative be set. I hadn’t thought about it that way until I asked the candidate if she thought about narrative in that way. Apparently, I do.

it’s just a body

Sprang for a massage chair. In the absence of regular sex, this is the best thing ever. The stroke was three (?) years ago, and since then I’ve had a bunch of problems. Tendonitis of the hip, a lower back vertabrae out of whack (not quite slipped) that’s been pinching a nerve and weakening the leg and additionally causing lower back pain, then there was that hormonal shitstorm called menopause. …

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